My body isn’t the same since I had the baby. I suppose that goes without saying but I didn’t know how truly cruel nature could be. It doesn’t seem like such a blessing would require such a sacrifice from my poor thighs.

Of course my outward appearance is different, there’s the weight, the stretch marks (I have a friend who actually told me that she didn’t get any stretch marks during her pregnancy, I’d like to stretch mark her)! The jelly rolls that I haven’t seen since I was in elementary school have made their comeback and boy did they decide to comeback with style. I must look different too, before when Brian and I would be teaching a Sunday school class full of high schoolers they really weren’t that interested in listening to us. We’d ask them to get into groups and it was like pulling teeth, now I just look at them with this “mom” look that requires a tilted head and raised eyebrows and they move quicker then Lance Armstrong.

It’s not just the body, though, my organs are all messed up too. Of course the initial recovery from labor was tough, I had stitches and hemorrhoids the size of a mountain. All my muscles hurt; it felt like I had run a marathon. It’s been four months and while most of that has healed my insides are still a little off. I used to laugh when my Mom and aunts would laugh so hard they would pee, but now I totally know why. It’s like not just my outsides have sagged but so have my insides. There’s this bounce on the inside that matches the jiggle on the outside that never used to be there. I go to the bathroom and after I’m done peeing, it still dribbles out. If I cough or sneeze I have to cross my legs just to be safe. I can’t believe I went from a firm young twenty something to a total middle aged mom in nine months!

I know those keegel exercises are suppose to help, and I’m sure they would if I could remember to do them faithfully, but along with my bodies demise my brain has also decided to begin it’s descent into oblivion. I’m lucky if I can remember whether or not I brushed my teeth let alone some weird tightening exercise.


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