So I got my hair done today and I don’t think I like it. You should know that whenever I get my hair or make up done I don’t think I like it. I have this problem where I don’t like the way I look but I don’t like it when I look different; in fact it really stresses me out makes me wonder “is this me?” “am I posing?” and when the hair dresser asks me if I like it all happy and expectant I can NEVER tell the truth I always smile an squeak “Oh it looks great I’m really happy.”
The real problem is that I’m not very stylish. I don’t know why because I love fashion, I love to look at patterns pick out material and sew, I think my house is decorated very nicely but when it comes to me it all just falls flat. I own very little make up and don’t wear it when I’m at home at all (I don’t even own an eye liner pencil although I have considered getting one) my hair blah, my body blah (this is my own fault and I am working on it) my own clothes worn out and blah blah blah. I just can’t seem to get it together weird thing is I don’t remember having this problem in high school and even college it’s like I had kids and bam worn out frumpy mom syndrome hit me hard. Maybe it’s partly because during those times my mom was by my side helping me to shop and choose and I was constantly surrounded by girlfriends. Also I’m older not as in shape and don’t have the time or spending money like I used to but still seems like I could do something more. My wonderful husband thinks I’m cute and doesn’t mind but I do– I mind.
So what do I do? I’m working on sewing a new dress although today instead of sewing I made cookies, and dinner rolls and folded clothes (I find sewing for myself to be way less fun then for kids and little girls and am very good at procrastinating) this weekend I’m hoping to pick up a few new things like bras, shoes and maybe shirts but I’m not sure it’s really going to make a difference especially with this weird new do I’m sporting.
I’ll tell you one thing for sure, when I get that big publishing deal and have to have jacket cover photos taken and go on that book tour I am going to have to have a stylist; someone that doesn’t dress me like them or the hippest thing but dresses me like the best version of myself.