Brian · cows · death · fate · FBI · onions · separated · universe

Why Brian and I should never be Apart.

Brian and I should never be separated. Why you ask? Because when we are apart the piece of the universe that we inhabit is off balance. I never asked for this kind of responsibility and I certainly don’t think we are worthy of it, but the fates, it seem, have a different idea.

Let me explain. When Brian leaves, the town we live in is fraught with natural disasters; as in tornadoes and limbs down everywhere and loss of electricity. Or, snow storms, blowing and drifting and loss of electricity. Or flooding and (wait for it) loss of electricity. Because those things are a pain in the rear end they happen to me when he’s gone.

However, when I’m gone it’s the weird and unusual. Our front yard has been filled with cows because a farmers fence was down. A semi carrying onions over turned and onions were all over everywhere, the FBI came and asked Brian loaded questions about our neighbors (that’s a really funny story and if you want to hear more say so in the comments. They’re some of our closest friends now), and just recently a woman down the road died a mysterious death. These things happen when Brian is home because they are weird and I love the weird.

He called me while I was at mom’s to tell me there were police cars down the street and two news vans. “Of course” I mutter “I’m gone!” As he’s talking the headline pops up from the local paper’s twitter feed. All it says is: “mysterious death on Hannah Street”. Suddenly his facebook and twitter are going nuts with people from the church making sure he’s alive. He wanted to not respond and see if anyone would come over I told him that was a bad idea.   Obviously we have not been the cause of these occurrences but they only seem to happen when we’re apart.

Coincidence?……

At the very least it is true that my husband and I are a very quirky set. And even if the universe isn’t off balance when we’re apart I know I am.

A side note to the above story. When I got home yesterday I took the dog for a walk because he needed one and I’d been in the car for nine hours (nine hours with a five and three year old. Who wouldn’t need a walk?) Keep in mind I’ve been walking Ranger about the same route for six years now so I guess people have noticed. One woman came busting out of her house just to stop me because her husband and her had been worried that I was the one who had died. They weren’t sure from the picture but I hadn’t been walking by all week! I was actually sort of humbled and shocked by their concern. Nothing like a friendly neighbor to make you feel like this is where you belong even with the natural disasters and FBI visits.

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