Dinner · fancy dinner · friendaversary. · GE

One Time I Paid Eighteen Dollars for a Few Baby Carrots.

Crazy right? I know it’s crazy now that some time has passed but during the ordeal I was so overwhelmed that I thought I was getting a deal… Kind of…

Here is what happened. Me and my dear friends Sarah and Megan were on the cusp of our twenty year friendaversary. Holy smokes we have been friends for a long time and friendships like that deserve first class celebration. What to do? Since we’re not quite at the place where we can travel to Europe (children, and babies, and like mortgages and all that) we decided to go out for a super swanky fancy pants dinner. We decided on GE, Graham Elliot’s restaurant because he is a judge on Master Chef and Sarah and I both watch that show. This is the kind of place where the prices aren’t on line and you can’t get in without a reservation, and they want you to check your coat. This place is fancy.

What amazing friends. How blessed I am to have them in my life.

We’re excited, we’re dressed up, we’re childless! We check our coats even though I feel weird about it (since I made my coat) and get our menu. There are no prices on the menu and the menu isn’t really a menu. Turns out when you dine at GE you get served eight little courses (you can also add on eight tiny glasses of wine which would have sent me to another planet so we opted out of the wine). We do go for the eight courses, though, because we’re in the mood for adventure and because we want to feel special, and because this guy is on television, he must know what he’s doing.

Yuzza?

The first course comes out and I can barely swallow it, then the second comes out and it’s okay, then comes the clam course. Oh Lord save me! I’m not a big seafood fan and I’m super picky about textures. I force myself to eat the fried shrimps but brave Megan decides to go for the raw oyster with the weird foam. She bravely tips it to her lips and then… sits there unmoving for what seemes a really long time… It was scary. Finally Sarah says in a loud whisper “We aren’t judging you! Spit it out!” which she does. The courses continue, some okay, a few good, and some horrifying. I ate the fish and was plesantly surprised. Here’s the thing, though, we were so desperate that this be worth it; that the meal be amazing that we were going nuts over the things we sort of liked. And, I was fine with it, until they brought us celery mousse. I like mousse when it’s chocolate. When it’s flavored with celery salt and has raw celery in it, then I don’t like it.

Cauliflower?

When the courses comes out they have to explain them to you (good thing as one of the courses had a pinecone on it you were not suppose to eat, it was for “aroma”). Finally they bring out the dessert. YES! I love dessert. And the waiter says smugly “zis iz our deconstructed carrot cake”.  I look upon a plate that has some baby carrots strewn on it and a few crumbs. There is no cake. I pop one of the carrots in my mouth and I taste… raw carrot… In the words of my dear friend Susie, “WHAT THE HEE HAW?!” And the words that burst out of my mouth are, “This is stupid!” to which we all laugh (too raucously for this sophisticated place).

Some of those are rock. Your not suppose to eat the rocks.

“No Megan! Don’t do it!!

????????????

It reminded me of “The Emperors New Clothes”. Every one pretending that it’s amazing because every one is saying it’s amazing but really we all know that a big juicy steak or plate of wonderful pasta would be better. Megan put it perfectly when she said, “This is the most amusing meal I’ve ever had.” Truth Megan, truth. What did we pay for the most amusing meal? $160 a person. If you do the math that means “ze deconstructed carrot cake” was $18! The next time we pay that kind of money for food we better be in Europe.

Seriously though, it was fantastic memories. One more wonderful thing to add to twenty years. And the best part of the night was the very end. When the mattre d slipped our coats back on us and Sarah despaired as we left, “my coat is made of sweatshirt! Now he knows now he knows!” I laughed so hard I peed a little. Totally worth it people, totally worth it.

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