Was xmas weird for any one else? I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it had something to do with my family being in MD. We went out there after xmas and it was really nice but the last two years my parents have been here in MI. So it was different and kind of lonely. I mean usually I’m planning a big meal and cleaning the house and sewing like crazy and this year it was more quiet.
It was also bombarded with some minor dental emergencies with my son, and while they weren’t life threatening they definitely affected his attitude and how he felt and left me feeling like the worst mom ever. He’s well on his way to having the offending tooth taken care of but it really wore me down, the idea that he had this problem for so long and I didn’t know. He kept complaining about his ear, for months, and we’d take him to the doctor for ear infections… Turns out it was his tooth. I sometimes really struggle with the idea that my mothering falls short. It’s so cliche, I hesitate to even blog about it, but it really affected me during this holiday season. All the times I wasn’t at my best as a mom came flooding back, even problems I had while trying to nurse him as a baby kept me wide awake at night.
It wasn’t all bad, Christmas eve was very special. Brian went to work that day and it was just me and my boys. We baked and loved and laughed and they were so desperate to prove to Santa that they were good and loved each other and were all hugging and being buddies. So that was nice. And now that SuperH’s tooth is under control he’s so much happier and better… but then I remember all the times I was frustrated with him when he was being whiny and yelling at his brother and I think “why didn’t I know something was wrong?”
I Peter 4:8 has become my Mothering verse to live by. Even if our faiths are a bit different the sentiment holds true, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Basically I’m holding to this (I’m NOT saying that not being able to psychically know he had a tooth problem was a sin, it’s not) because I think it shows that even though there is no way we can be perfect moms, (or wives, daughters, friends) if we love then that love will make the times we do fall short disappear, or seem small. Love is greater, stronger, and makes a deeper impact then the times we are not our best and that gives me so much comfort!
It’s a new year let’s decide that instead of worrying about mopping the floors, or exercising every single day, or reading 100 books, we’ll take the time to love the people around us. Snuggle our kids, have lunch with our Grandmothers, take the time to date our husbands and go out with our friends. Love is more important then shining floors, flat abs, or the NewYork Times Best Sellers list.
Thank you readers for your love, know that you have mine in return.
A special thank you to all who ordered bags. I’ve already learned a lot about the process of making and selling. If your interested Click here to see the post about it or Here and Here to see possible fabric choices.