Have you ever read a self-help type book about marriage or parenting and come away feeling even more guilty and failure riddled then when you began? I know I have and it’s so discouraging. You already feel like you’re barely treading water and then you read a book that piles on a bunch more “things” you should be striving for.
I recently read a book that is NOT like that at all. I wish this book “Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It all” had been around nine years ago when I was taking my first insecure steps into motherhood. Or thirteen years ago when I first embarked on marriage and minister-wifering (new word you can totally use if you want). I think it would have saved me a lot of heart ache, a lot of insecurities, and a lot of that ugly old comparison game.
This was the kind of book where I kept thinking “Yes, I know what she means” and “I know how that feels” and “That makes sooooo much sense!” This book told me in no uncertain terms that God made me unique because He knew what my family would need. That I am the right mom for my boys. It gave me permission to stop striving to be like every other family and boldly embrace the uniqueness of ours. To decide what works and what doesn’t and be okay with it. Here’s something crazy that happened after I was given permission to do what works best for us, I stopped being so judgmental about other moms and their different families.
I feel like instead of comparing and silently judging now we can truly embark on sharing and growing together. And maybe the most important truth to understand. Being a mother is something you do not who you are. You are a daughter of God, and that truth will keep you from equating your self-worth with how well your children perform. What a beautiful revelation.
Here are a few quotes that resonated with me:
“Balancing life while raising kids must be intentional, because good things steal your energy, time and identity.”
“Being a mom doesn’t make you arrive in life. Just being a woman is enough.”
“‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ robs your family of an authentic environment where kids learn acceptance, trust, and family identity. Creating a family culture according to your uniqueness builds an environment of freedom, security, and love. Everyone feels safe and can be themselves, including you. Release yourself to build a family culture around your strengths, and the strengths of your family.”
If your are a woman I really encourage you to read this book. In fact I loved it so much that I am going to give one away. All you need to do is leave a comment, telling us your favorite thing about being a woman, or what you struggle with. I’ll choose one at random Wednesday the 16th.