I’ve been very absent from here for a long time. It isn’t because I’ve given up on blogging. It’s because my life is in upheaval right now. There just isn’t actual time to blog, or sleep well, or do all the dishes… I came to a place where I had to put all of my writing on hold and it’s been really hard. These outlets are places where my soul and brain and fingers all get to meet. Knowing that this time of chaos isn’t forever is the only thing making it okay.
We’re moving. Across the country. And it all happened very fast. Some day soon after we’re settled into a new home with a new normal. I want to write a series on here about it. What lead to the change, and our journey through it, because it really has been a journey.
For now I’d like to say that moving is really hard. Even when you know without a doubt that it is God is behind it, it is still hard. People keep asking how I’m doing, how my children are doing, and as I think beyond the mess, and boxes and never ending list of things I just keep saying that, this part is hard. And there isn’t any way to make it less hard. Sometimes to get to something good we have to walk through something really difficult first.
Every day I run across something: moments, friends, neighbors, sentiment, things that makes me want to stay. Makes me wonder if this is all worth it. And I can’t know the future. Can’t know when it will get easy again. But I do know that God doesn’t call without good things in store. Faith is the space between the now and the seeing what God had in store. It’s where we take a step and go on even when it’s breaking our hearts. I’m in that place now, and it’s bittersweet to be sure, but there is sweet. There is the closeness my husband and I are experiencing, feeling the love poured out over us by people who are sad to see us go, seeing my porch swing in it’s new place from my neighbors yard…
I’ll be back, and someday soon I’ll have a lot to share about this journey.